This just in: judges Steve Buscemi, Chris Weitz, Helen Hsu and Sascha Lewis were challenged to select images and stories from among hundreds of submissions of self-portraits.

"An evening of art, hors d'oeuvres, complimentary wines from Bear Flag, beers from Brooklyn Brewery, the Bourbon Bada Bing from guest mixologist, beats by DJ Kimyon and a glow in the dark fashion presentation by KRELwear. RSVP to info@artistswanted.org. More info here.

This just in: a night of performance artists who "gleefully play our extreme boundaries."

"I have been creating a lot of PERFORMANCE ART over the past several years utilizing a mechanism known as the PULSE JET!!!... it is a highly EXPLOSIVE!!! and exciting device that I use to BLAST!!! paint on to NAKED HUMAN forms and a bunch of other FUN, SEX & DANGER!!! ACTIONS as well..."  Um...

This is where hipsters surely go to die. Funk, reggae and horn bands titled, aptly, Air Horns, New York Funk Exchange, Revision and Spiritual Rez will set the... er, funky mood for the 18+ evening at this so-out-of-the-way-that-it's-nearly-in-Queens loft space.

In the back of Lovin' Cup, at the Cameo Gallery, Pumpkin Patch and Skinny Friedman will be back in action, this time with a special guest K!O. 

Real Mature, with your DJ Rok One. What do you want from my life?